The first thing necessary before going into any career field is getting the proper education and training. Usually this starts from a very young age. I was told as a young girl that I would be Mommy's little doctor. My whole life I specialized and excelled in Math and Science, I was in every science club you can think of. My program in High School was "Med-Sci." I got my Bachelors of Science in Clinical Laboratory Science. My path was set. Med School was supposed to be the next stop.
Unfortunately the Arts always had a hold on my heart. I loved to draw and sketch and paint and write. But it was dance that ultimately took me off that original set path, and it came very late in life.(Most dancers train from the age of 6!)
I'll never regret my education however. I still am utterly fascinated by the sciences. And it will probably serve as a nice plan B if ever something disastrous were to happen in my dance career (knock on wood).
So once I decided to truly pursue dance I had to find a training program. And I found one of the best in NYC. I am currently apart of the Professional Semester Dance Training Program at the Broadway Dance Center.
The program started 3 weeks ago and I learned a lot in just that first week of Orientation. I would tell you everything but that's not nice. Apply and Join! Here were some cool points on Professionalism that were brought up:
- ALWAYS be ON TIME
- ALWAYS have a pen ( this is genius!)
- ALWAYS leave your number twice
- ALWAYS spell check
- Repeat as you enter a room - "Happy to be here, and ready to work!" (It's crazy how this small statement changes your whole mindset)
Alright so now to the title of this entry. D-Day. SMH. The day we had our Class Placement Evaluation/ Mock Audition. The following is my journal entry of that day:
8/26/10
Today was our placement class/mock audition or what I like to call D-Day. YUP- I did horribly. But not all is lost! I already knew I'd do horrible.
The Ballet/Jazz/Theater section was so difficult! The level of technique needed in each was WAY beyond any technique that I had acquired in my 3 ballet classes ever taken in LIFE. BUT! I attacked it, the whole time smiling. Looking like a hell of a fool and not caring.
There were 2 people on the panel of judges that helped me feel at ease and encouraged me throughout. Those were Sheila Barker and Jamie Salmon. Sheila teaches Jazz and Jamie Ballet. They could tell off the bat that I was NOT a trained dancer at all. But they winked, nodded and encouraged me through the whole time. I was breaking a sweat, I was attacking that choreo and the whole time my heart was screaming out to Sheila and Jamie "THANK YOU! THANK YOU!"
They broke us into groups and my nerves got the best of me. I got ahead of myself and did everything too early. I forgot my steps and I even invented some new ones. But all I kept thinking was- "Girl go out there strong, smile, do your best and stick that ending pose." And I did. So I was satisfied with that.
I knew that it would be difficult, and I knew that it would be beyond my current capabilities, but afterward I still went into the bathroom and cried (careful not to ruin my mascara of course). It was a big blow to my ego- and I will admit it's a big ego. The bigger they are, the harder they fall. And mine fell HARD. From the third floor bathroom of the BDC, through to the basement, down to the Earth's core and it resurfaced somewhere in Asia. Rumor has it a Panda cub is playing with it in a Bamboo forest in China.
It was a truly humbling experience however. It was a harsh smack of reality, that I am a LONG LONG LONG way off of my dream to become a Professional Dancer. But again- IT WAS NOT A LOSS!
This all just served to be a means to have the determination to go harder. Knowing that potential is there and I just need to attack this road with a fervor like no other dancer has before. I have to work 10x as hard as everyone else but I WILL. I am not afraid. I accept this challenge with pride and dignity.
After my cry, we changed into our Hip-hop gear. I wanted to do well here. Hip-hop is a lot closer to my language. But that Panda bear had my ego in a choke-hold. I couldn't summon up the confidence I needed. I went through the whole choreo just touching the surface. They allowed us some freestyle and I used it as my release. But again- never leaving my comfort zone. Afterward I was upset at myself for not being able to overcome the blow.
But what can you do? You live, and you learn. And THAT'S what I am doing here in the first place. To LIVE dance, to LEARN dance, to become ONE with dance. At the end of the day the realization was this:
I am exactly where I belong.
Now to sign up for those basic ballet classes. Can't find me? I'll be at the barre.
5 Things I'm Thankful For:
- Being on time for the 4th time in a row- I suffer from chronic lateness and have no meds.
- Coffee- it makes me a morning person
- Realization
- Ahtoy Won-Pat Borja- if it were not for the little ballet training that she was able to give me I would have been a lot more lost. Thank you Toy
- Fatigue- tired but happy, pained but fulfilled. Call me a masochist.
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