Hey World
Happy New Year first of all! Yes it is April but shoot me! I'm inconsistent with this blogging.
So..... I'm not one to make resolutions because I am generally the first to break 'em but this year I do have one. It's the title of this post.
Let Go & Let LIFE
Before I go into explaining why and what this resolution means let's update the world on my LIFE. The point of this blog in the first place. If you're not interested in my life then you can click the "X" at the very top right hand corner of this box. Please and Thank You.
Now... where was I? Oh yes-
Update: So as most of you know I lost my job last June... Which to be quite honest was a blessing in disguise. It gave me the chance to no longer be the girl on the third floor that dances in the hallway and to take the chance to pursue my dream as a dancer. Since then I joined a dance program at Broadway Dance Center called the Professional Semester. At the start of the program I set a lot of goals for myself- but my primary goal was to be noticed by a Talent Agency and to be signed. Specifically by Bloc Talent Agency. Without representation it's extremely difficult to be "in the know" about different dance opportunities. They happend to be present at my final recital and the next day I received the email that Bloc was interested in meeting with me to discuss representation. I was taken aback, surprised and extremely flattered. As the dancer in the program with the most limited amount of dance training I found it amazing that they were interested in me. I was beyond excited- especially because I particularly wanted representation from Bloc- they are the best and I never settle for less. So at the beginning of this year I signed my contract with Bloc! And although I hate to admit it, the signing of this piece of paper made me feel legitimized as a Professional dancer. Since then they have sent me on numerous auditions for a variety of dance gigs and a few weeks later I booked my first dance gig! A movie, a ballroom movie where I was to play a dancer in a wheelchair in the competition scenes. Weird I know. But it was such an eye opening experience.
During the gig we rehearsed a week before the shoot and here we learned how to maneuver the wheelchair, and then learned the mechanics and basics of converting basic ballroom technique into wheelchair ballroom technique. It was quite challenging. Imagine how difficult Cha Cha and the Waltz is when you have your own two feet, and now you lose your arms to wheels and lose your feet too! Wrap me up! I was a hella hot mess! And then I broke every single one of my finger nails in the wheel spokes. I fell out of the chair like 5 times. SMH. But with the help of the choreographers and the actual wheelchair dancers there I was able to get the hang of it.
The most annoying part is the amount of tension I felt in my hamstrings and hips from sitting in the chair for so long. I'd get up and stretch through-out the day and at one point I thought "Wow, what a luxury- I actually CAN get up from the chair. Thank God" I'd look over to John (one of the actual wheelchair bound dancers, name changed for privacy) and almost felt sorry- then he'd smile tell one of his wheelchair jokes and I realized that there is nothing to be sorry about. John has Lumbar Sacral Agenesis and has been in a wheelchair his whole life. But he never let that stop him from LIVING. He does everything else an able-bodied person does. He plays basketball, he loves to dance, he goes out clubbing, he wheels the streets better than I walk 'em! And he was so positive, truly a blessing to have had him there. I would also look over to Seth (another actual wheelchair bound dancer, name also changed for privacy) He was in a car accident in 1998, became a paraplegic and lost his chance to become a professional football player. After a deep depression he sought out body building to "build" back up his confidence. Now he is the CEO of Wheelchair Body Building, travels the country and the world representing the sport and is a motivational speaker. And let me tell you Seth is BUILT. He has actually regained the ability to get out of his chair after years of physical therapy- but he cannot feel a thing from his knees down and depends on splints to hold his legs up. But he does not let his wheelchair stop him from LIVING. I'll call the last person in a wheelchair Angel. She used to be a singer, rapper and dancer, and like Seth she was involved in a car accident that made her a paraplegic as well. She cannot feel anything from her waist down. She was another beautiful beautifully spirited individual. She'd wheel into the room with a smile on her face and joke and she lived for making us laugh. She still dances- and teaches dance at a high school as well as being a motivational speaker to people who like her- once could walk and cannot any longer.
Being surrounded by people like this brings me back to the title of this post, my new years resolution to Let Go and Let Life. These three individuals do not let their disability disable them, they use it to ENABLE them. They LET GO of what could have been something that hindered their happiness in life and they LET LIFE be lived regardless of that. I don't think I could ever look at a disabled person the same again. I don't even think I can call them disabled- they have more ability than any able-bodied person I know.
So with that said I have been shown time and time again that letting go and living is the ONLY way to be. I realized that I am a freak, a control freak (and I will not confirm nor deny the other allegations of my freakiness, ahem. lol). I always had a plan, I always wanted things to go a certain way and if they didn't I would be extremely unhappy. Now I realize that a plan is always good and always necessary but accepting that it will not always be daisies and rainbows is important too. Accepting and still living, letting go, and having FAITH that God has a better plan. KNOWING that you will and can be elevated to the heights beyond your capability if you just LET GO and allow that elevation to occur. Even with dance. Especially with dance. When you think about the steps so much, and you try to control your every movement, your every emotion, you cannot grow. But once you abandon your constraints and just BE you will grow beyond measure. I am being more aware of this. I will live my life this way. And in this way I will always be happy.
-M.A.C.
5 Things I am Thankful For:
1- My legs- Never again will I ever take walking, running, jumping or dancing for granted again.
2- New People- always giving you different perspectives on life and allowing you to LEARN more and more
3- Life- there is nothing more precious than this and I can never be more thankful for it
4- Falafel and Tahini sauce- Ate this everyday for lunch at rehearsal--- yummyyyyyy
5- Opportunities- they come into your life unnumerously. Happy to have been able to grasp them :-)
